Geeky Baldisms

Mike Wallace can inspire deep-seated terror when he strolls into a corporate office with a camera crew. But he was the WRONG choice to let accused steroid-pumper Roger Clemens have his say on 60 Minutes.

Note these observations from the Sports Illustrated website:

Where Wallace came up short was in not pressing Clemens. He did not follow up on why McNamee injected Clemens with Lidocaine, and B12. Most glaringly, he did not press Clemens about his longtime friend Andy Pettitte, who validated McNamee's account regarding Pettitte's growth-hormone use. "Why would Brian McNamee tell the truth about Andy Pettitte and lie about you? Wallace asked. "Andy's case is totally separate," said Clemens. "I was shocked to learn about Andy's situation. Had no idea about it."

There was no follow-up question, and there needed to be. Clemens has long claimed Pettitte as the Tonto to his Lone Ranger, a relationship not fully explained to viewers on Sunday. To characterize Wallace as sympathetic to Clemens would be unfair, but there was a clear distinction between he and Logan in terms of aggressiveness. (CBS declined to make Wallace available to SI.com after Sunday's broadcast.)

The BCS stunk worse this year than normal. There was no clear-cut faceoff between #1 and #2. Instead, we had Ohio State (a good choice) and LSU (WHAT???).

LSU was there largely because of their status as champion of the Most Holy of conferences, the SEC.

Yes, LSU won handily, but that proves nothing. Getting hot for one game doesn't mean much. It's how you got there to play it that matters. And in this case, LSU's presence is clear evidence of the disrespect that other conferences, particularly the Big Twelve, are subject to when the BCS say who shalt play for the championship.

How did this conference get named as the Ultimate in the BCS's eyes?

Here's how the typical SEC team does business:

• Schedule non-con creampuffs like Middle Tennessee, Tulane, NE Louisiana, or North Texas, to provide easy non-conference warmups.


• Beat up on the conference doormats. This year, it was Vanderbilt, South Carolina, Kentucky, Mississippi, and Arkansas.


• Play .500 against the better teams.


• Stroll into a big fat bowl game secure in the fact that the BCS is wowed by your unbelievable tough schedule.

Twenty Reasons Why You Should Try Ubuntu

1. It makes Steve Ballmer very, very mad.
2. The proponents of Ubuntu aren't in it for the money.
3. If you're a Baby Boomer, picture Microsoft as The Man.
4. It has the most newbie-friendly forum out there. Seriously, the moderators have the patience of Job.
5. It just feels good to run open-source, free software.
6. Kiss DRM insanity goodbye. Your recorded media belongs to YOU.
7. Want new software? Install/uninstall completely FREE killer apps through Synaptics Package Manager.
8. The live CD is the ultimate "try before you buy." Except you're not buying anything.
9. Looking at a basic Vista computer purchase? You'll need at least a gig of RAM and a dual-core to make it run decently fast. Oh, and embedded DRM, which provides you zero benefit but is there at the insistence of the recording and movie industries, is a big reason why it's such a hardware hog. Ubuntu runs all day long on 512 MB of RAM and three-year old processors.
10. You can plead ignorance when friends and family ask your for Vista troubleshooting help.
11. Steve Ballmer hates Linux badly enough that he's making comical unsubstantiated claims about its alleged infringement of M$ code. Ubuntu REALLY doesn't want or need any M$ code, thank you.
12. Want to spend over $300 on an office suite? No? Then how about a free one included with the OS?
13. Compare troubleshooting a software issue with Ubuntu to chasing one down for a Windows app. I think you'll find a tremendous amount of difference in the number of Google returns.
14. Defrag? What's that?
15. Get used to your desktop, and it won't turn into some bizarrely different looking thing every few years. Changes to Linux desktops are gradual, not sudden.
16. When you run Windows, you're running the result of the efforts of hundreds of thousands of highly-paid programmers. When you run Ubuntu, you're running the result of the efforts of mere thousands of volunteer programmers who simply want you to have a better product.
17. Adding to Windows' overhead is spyware prevention, virus protection, and Windows Firewall, designed to keep intruders out. While Ubuntu may someday become a target of attacks, right now you can run free of bug killers and bad-guy-blockers.
18. The lack of WGA or its equivalent. The very idea of M$ running a program without your consent designed SOLELY to make certain you're not a thief is simply lousy, lousy customer service.
19. Your software will be updated and upgraded from now on for FREE.
20. Oh, one last thing. The only thing Steve Ballmer hates worse than Linux is Google!

I discovered the Internet Movie Database ten years ago. In case you've been living in a cave, it's the premier user-driven site for opinions and commentary about movies. And I must say that I agree with the majority of its rankings.

For instance, it rates the two original Godfather movies in the top three of all time. Hear, hear. Every time they are broadcast on AMC or TNT, I have to stop what I'm doing and watch them again.

The site's fans have also had an affinity for a movie that was largely unappreciated by the critics and the public alike. The Shawshank Redemption has been sandwiched between the two Godfather movies for years as the second best ever.

I am very pleased with this, because the fact is that the movie is simply better with each viewing, and the upbeat ending gets me very time. A salute to the astute voters of IMDB.com.

The rest of the Top ten (at presstime) is rounded out by:

• The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
• Pulp Fiction
• Schindler's List
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
• The Empire Strikes Back
• Casablanca
• The Seven Samurai